Magic Items for Fatties

This is an incomplete list of D&D magic items that might be useful to our hungry heroes. Everyone should feel free to add to this list if they come over more useful arcane trinkets!

Dungeon Master’s Guide

  • Animated Shield (leave your off-hand free to grab a snack!) +2 bonus
  • Dancing Weapon and Everdancing Weapon (weapon fights and maneuvers on its own so you don’t have to move — or fight!) +4 bonus
  • Hand of the Mage (can’t cast Mage Hand to reach that last fruit tart? Now you can!) 900gp

Stronghold Builder’s Guidebook

  • Platform of Levitation (no need for tiring stairs!)
  • Platform of Telekinesis (like the above — but can move horizontally as well!)
  • Table of Feasting (free Heroes Feasts without having to wait for a cook!)
  • Invisible Helper (added to a room. Never have to get up to fetch something ever again!)
  • Chamber of Comfort (always the perfect temperature. Never waste calories on body thermoregulation!)
  • Everful Larder (obviously!)

Magic Item Compendium

  • Aporter Armour (don’t walk from here to there: Teleport!) 20,000gp
  • Called Armour (never exert yourself by squeezing into your armour again!) 2,000gp
  • Armour of Easy Travel (reduces effects of Medium Encumberance — should work with that gut of yours too!) 1,500gp
  • Armour of Quickness (add that little extra spring in your waddle![+5 speed]) 5,000gp
  • Acrobat Boots (gives that little extra Tumble boost to tubby swashbucklers!) 900gp
  • Anklet of Translocation (for when the dinner table is simply 10 feet too far from your bed!) 1400gp
  • Armband of Elusive Action (avoiding Attacks of Opportunity can be hard when you outweigh an ogre!) 800gp
  • Bolt Shirt (for when some idiot put the dinner table 60 feet too far from your bed!) 5000gp
  • Boots of Big Stepping (your teleport spells need those extra caster levels to move your fat ass!) 6000gp
  • Dimension Stride Boots (lets you go the exact extra distance you need!) 2000gp
  • Farspeaking Amulet (for when your stupid servants are too far away to hear you demand a back rub!) 6000gp
  • Sandals of Sprinting (get your fat ass in gear!) 2300gp
  • Shiftweave (be prepared and have an outfit that can go up a dress size when you do!) 500gp
  • Spare Hand (don’t limit yourself to stuffing your face with just BOTH hands!) 12,000gp
  • Horn of Plenty (hungry? Why wait? And if a twelve-person feast isn’t enough, blowing the horn is sure to bring to your servants’ attention that it’s second dinner-time!) 12,000gp
  • Sending Stones (give this to your cook — waiting for a servant to go and tell him what you want for dinner takes too long when you want it NOW!) 1,400gp

Magic Items for Fatties

Drowman Empire x22